Jul 03 2008
Republicans Nearly Maim Lance Corporal With Care Package
Wow, it was like Christmas in July as the Chester County Young Republicans and the Republican Committee of Chester County shipped us 9 boxes of goodies as well as health and comfort items.
Unfortunately, my fellow Republicans back in Chester County, PA included what they thought was just a football. My naivety saw it more as a weapon of opportunity and quickly engaged on a target of opportunity (Lance-Coconut Price) to see if I was correct.
Pictures don’t lie!
Stage 1 – Target Identified
Stage 2 – Target Acquired
Stage 3 – Target Hit
Ok it wasn’t the Republicans per se that brought the Lance Coconut down but, I am going to take the Democrat approach for my rebuttal:
1. “Well they shouldn’t have given me something that if used completely inappropriate would hurt someone.”
2. “I am sure this is George Bush’s fault, just like when he Rumsfeld conspired to create Hurricane Katrina with the help of Halliburton”
3. “I did not have relations with that pigskin”
4. “I was for using a football appropriately before using it inappropriately” – Thanks John Kerry
5. “Then we will hit him in the shoulder, then in the legs, then in the back, and then in the groin. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” – Thanks Howard Dean
Wow again. Look at all the stuff below. Not only do I and the junior Marines in the office appreciate the generosity but so do some Marines in Fallujah we may never meet. There have been a few hut fires in Iraq and almost a companies worth of Marines lost their gear and personal items. Because of your generosity we were able to send a few boxes to them today.
Pictured: Tough Guy (Me), Sgt Slaughter, Cupcake, and the Lance Coconut
Semper Fi Fellow Republicans,
GySgt Jonathan Jenkins
Popularity: 100% [?]
Karl Rove put the football in there. Good to see you guys enjoyed the packages, and hope you have a happy Fourth of July.
The architect? Plausible. Very plausible.
I will. I like it out here. Great experiences and some that folks might be amazed to hear when I get back in October.
Later Sean!
What a crew! I am glad that your crew is out there fighting four our country. Happy 4th of July. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless every one who has served and that is serving in the military.
Thank you very much, Jonathan, for your service to our country — and not so much for your passing skills.
Cheers,
Michael Zak
LOL Now that was pretty funny Mike.
Happy 4th of July to all of you! My thoughts and prayers are with you, always.
Also, as a Democrat, I can say with focus group approval that ‘Sean’ is a rovian plant in Chester County.
Jonathan,
Glad you enjoyed the goodies. You know all of us in Area 4 appreciate all you and all of your buddies are doing over there. Just let us know when if you need anything else that we can send you. Our prayers are with you all. Jack Slanga
At least it wasn’t a weapon of ass destruction, but then the lance corporal was facing forward.
Way too funny Andy. Didnt even think of that one. haha
Ass destruction! soo funny! Love the pics!
summer’s almost over, see you soon! we’ll be gardening before you know it!